Love dynamics

I am one of those people that is pretty clueless when it comes to understanding love dynamics. I tend to preach that one should let things flow naturally but when it comes to putting the thoughts in action all goes to hell and i start thinking tooooo much about all things. And my instincts? Long long gone. I feel things, I perceive things but I push it at the back of my head. I tend to hear my fears and my desires much more than the voice of my heart.
Say for example a guy comes in the foreground and things start to happen. How to screw up love dynamics in few simple steps:
1) listen to your friends minds' games. If I do this then he will think that and helloo you have to seem hard to get and that you are soo superior. Bullshit! The poor guy tries his best and then when you get the power in the relationship you don't know what to do with it, you start questioning his feelings and it seems in your eyes less than a man. Needless to say that you stop enjoying being with a guy. Why do I need to have the power? I don't want it! It is too exhausting and then it all becomes a mind game so that I don't loose it even though i cannot deal with it in the first place. From the point that power issues come in all goes sour. It is all a matter of the ego instead of the experience. Relax, you are gonna end up doing whatever you crave anyway, why enter this power trap? In love there should be no power, that is why it is unconditional! If it is conditional, then it is not love.
2) keep looking for classic romantic signs as they are projected in the movies. The guy may be buying the stars for you but if it is not a red rose oh God the end is near. He does not love me or whatever. Why use someone else's standards instead of your own? Communicate what you value and then you see what happens. If he buys a cd that is from your favourite band instead of a boucquet of roses it means that he cares about who you are not about the film characters.
3) value the words over the actions. Tend to forget all the good actions he is doing because he did not say A or B. BUT how many wankers have we all met that were all full of words -sweet but empty- instead of giving you the respect and we still hang out on them.
4) Want to be heard without hearing the other and without really talking! Metacommunication is not working if you are not really trying to communicate instead of ordering. How will he know what you are thinking if you dont say it? He is not a mind reader.
5) Speak the truth. I keep wondering how easy things would be if I just say what I really wanted instead of going round and round and saying nothing. If I just spoke the truth and faced whatever comes instrad of just thinking what if this, what if that I would stop dwelling over stupid things and hold on to negative repetitive patterns.
6) last but not least place your happiness on to the other person's hands. Is a huge and unfair burden. If you are not happy with yourself and your life no man will do it for you. The problem is within your perceptions and understandings not his actions. He can support and hold your hand but you will never be happy unless it comes from within you.
The dynamics change but it is not a matter of who has the power over the other, it is a matter of who experiences the love, that motivating life giving feeling, a matter of sharing not of demanding to take, and most of all of letting go. It is a two way street, you cannot be responsible for the other but you can be responsible for yourself. If you cannot respect yourself and be honest how can the other do this for you? If you love someone you will not jump off the cliff for him, I mean you will not diminish who you are, the person that he fell in love with anyway. The same goes for both. If you love the idea more than the person it is not the person's fault.
I keep thinking all these over and over and try to be more conscious of my thoughts, my instincts, my feelings and really appreciate and experience it to the fullest. Love dynamics are not about the people, they are about the self.